Hurtling into the Holidays
Written on 24 November 2007 by Sherri W.I am somewhat embarrassed to admit how out-of-sorts I am this holiday weekend without the four-legged child. As my sadness continues to resurface, I’m ever-afeared that someone’s going to scoff at me for over-reacting ‘cos this is “just about a dog.”
However.
I’ve been out-of-sorts.
Nonetheless, I’ve been periodically throwing myself into holiday stuff. We spent Thanksgiving itself with some of Matt’s family, but I did our own “Thanksgiving the sequal” dinner tonight. Meanwhile, the houses in the Christmas village are set up, the main living room tree is up and I’ve started putting ornaments on it. Matt went out today and bought new colored lights so I can do the ficus downstairs (our old strings of lights went dead).
I also asked him to buy another tree for the second floor. We’ll have to tuck one of the end tables in a closet for the season to make room for it*, but I think I want the extra cheerfulness of having a tree and ornaments up in the room where we spend so much time.
And in the midst of all the cooking and decorating, I’ve also started very slowly throwing out the doggie meds and treats that we don’t have any use for anymore. More sorting and disposing — some to trash, some to charity, if we can find a charitable use, and some into storage ‘cos we’re not ready to entirely let go — will follow bit by bit.
It’s a surreal mixture of trying to distract myself and facing reality. At one moment this afternoon, Matt and his brother were peeling potatoes in the kitchen while I stood in the next room, holding a tree ornament and trying to keep my tears silent ‘cos I’d suddenly been flooded with sadness and I didn’t want to be a bother or a nuisance.
Oh well. Nothing to do but take it day by day. And I’m gonna keep throwing myself into holiday-ness. I love this time of year, and even though I know things are gonna be tinged with some sad and some bittersweet this year, I still want to have all the traditions and the decorations I love so much. Especially this year.
* I’ve already done so, earlier today.
